It seems to me lately that the whole "nice guys finish last" thing is kinda true...In my case atleast and I get the feeling that theres a big sign above my name that says "Too nice to date!" or something along those lines. Basically the deal is like this. I'm 20 years old, a virgin and plan to stay that way til marriage, I don't drink, nor do drugs and never had a girlfriend. It could partially be due to my addiction to video games, but I highly doubt it. I honestly think that playing video games has anything to do with finding a girlfriend or not. I've been looking for a girlfriend for a while. I know everyone says "Stop looking and you'll find someone." I tried that for a year and it didn't happen, so I figured I might as well look since nothing else is working.
Now I've tried the whole long distance thing...twice. The first time nothing was wrong...I just felt like we had nothing click between us. I'd tell her things and I think they just went in through one ear and out the other I felt like she was 'cheating' on me...Don't ask. I mean, don't get me wrong. I know that long distance relationships can work, like my roommates. He and his fiance met on Myspace, they just aren't for me. Which leads me to my next thing. I feel like I'm a 5th wheel. Everyone I hang out with is either newly married or engaged and so basically half the time they leave me on the curb while they go on their group dates and such and that kinda makes me sad feeling like I'm the odd man out.
I'm nice, polite, chivalrous. I'm from the south. I was raised that way. I'm basically there anytime one of my female friends needs someone to talk to about their relationship problems. Now the part that hurts the most is when those said girls talk and go, "I wish I had a boyfriend like you" and the continue to go out with the other guys that have constantly assaulted or cheated on them, time and time again...I just don't understand it. Is it something I'm doing wrong?

dude if you live in a town where at 20 everyone is engaged or married you need to leave and I mean real quick!

Be the fifth wheel proudly, pester the girlfriends of your friends to set you up!

start a social hobby, or take a class at the local jr college.

you have to be the one to be proactive and start conversations with strangers and meet new people

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It's strange. I'm 20, but my friends are 24-29. I'm the youngest. I've tried that and all the people they introduce me too have rejected me...

I can't take a class at the local college because I work too much. I've taken college before and it didn't work out the way I quite wanted it too. The closest thing I do to a social hobby is Magic:The Gathering.

I like to keep myself in a bubble so I don't really like talking to strangers and meeting new people that much. I'm closely breaking it so.

this may sound messed up but only do this as a last resort..

change everything about yourself including how you dress and act. be the guy you see on tv or be the guys you hate the most (the ones who gets all the chicks). dont mention your hobbies EVER around girls and only let them talk about themselves. once you have the chance to bag a girl with all your lies and false charisma, all thats left is to.. CONVERT them!

my wife use to never play video games or share any of my interests, but now shes just like me. hell, even my friend was an hardcore WoW fanatic until he asked for my advice.. he use to wear +10 invisibility tshirts and jinko jeans, now he wears pinstriped shirts and slacks and goes on dates every week (he still plays videogames just now WoW anymore). hes so big headed now i think imma kick his ass pretty soon.. actually i will! that conceited prick! lawl

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i'm the opposite of phi - i'm a "be yourself" guy cuz that's what worked for me.

was helping a friend move in next door in teh dorm, walked in and there was my wife (well, we weren't married then, obviously) sitting on the couch, watching who's line is it anyway with a dreamcast out on the table and recently used controllers strewn about.

the guys i were with immediately geek tested her. monty python quotes, the work. we were immideatly all three in love with her and my poor friend who we were helping move in was just "um..... hullo?"

which part of the south do you live in? We've got a convention coming up in march in bham. there's a comic convention in atlanta in april - dragon*con (the biggie) is sept. there are a few in florida, tennessee, etc...

GO TO A CONVENTION! Hang out at a comic shop or a game store.

there are more geek girls out there than you know and trust me... if you're a geek - you WANT a geek girl. you won't have to explain or shy away from your interests because she'll either have the same ones or at least understand.

but most of all try not to worry about it. You're twenty. I know its hard being the fifth wheel since you have older friends, but you'll have your turn.

it's true that when you stop looking you find someone BUT you can't expect someone to come to you. You still have to meet people and go places and do all the things you'd do if you were looking - just have a different motivation.

Good luck, dude. Totally been there.

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You're 20. You don't need to be engaged... Keep in mind if you are hanging out with older people than you being the only one not engaged/married is not strange *at*all*. I'm taking a stab in the dark here, but being a straight edge who adheres to abstinence makes me think you are the religious type. In which case, try finding a girl in that circle who shares your same morals.

I *strongly* disagree with Phi. Pretending to be something you are not is lying from the get go. It is NEVER a good idea to base a relationship on lies. besides, how long do you really want to masquerade around as something you are not?

If you never go out and do social things how can you expect to find a meaningful relationship? These things do not fall into one's lap. Speaker is right, go to places and conventions of things that hold your interest. Meet people yourself and don't rely on your friends to hook you up. Age has nothing to do with this; people find their match at different times in their lives. Nothing wrong with that.

The "stop looking and you'll find someone" technique only works if during that time you are *looking*for*yourself*. You need to go out and show the world what you have to offer. You can't expect to find *anyone* if you hole yourself away.

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QFT & E

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well i never said my method was the right thing to do..

i just threw out an idea that works. you never actually change and you can be yourself around all your friends and family, youre just upgrading like pimp my ride. you can always slowly show her how you really are and if it blows all over your face, say you did it for her. girls are gullible, she'll probably sympathize for you and after a lil bitchin she wont care anymore..

change isnt always bad anyways, maybe you'll like getting new hobbies and trying out new things. the "LIE" may become the truth instead. its like going through phases in your life, how do you know it isnt your thing if you dont try?

but anyways i also agree with speaker's method, just rereading my post i may have came off a lil.. assholelish? lawl.. stay the same or change is totally up to you, just dont stop playing games.. or ill kill you!

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GAEM 4 LIEF!

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Taking up new hobbies doesn't have to be a lie. Changing your personality to "trick" another person into falling for you and then trying to slowly "revert" back, however, is. Relationships built on lies = FAIL

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